What is surrogacy?
A surrogate mother is a woman who carries a child for someone else who, for one reason or another, is unable to carry a child herself.
There are two types of surrogacy - Traditional Surrogacy and Gestational Surrogacy.
Traditional Surrogacy
Using the surrogate mother's own egg she is artificially inseminated with sperm from the intended father (or sperm donor). In this way the surrogate mother will be genetically linked to the child.
When the child is born, the intended father's name is put on the birth certificate and depending on the state, the intended mother adopts the child via a step-parent adoption agreement in order to establish her parental rights or the intended mother's name goes directly on the birth certificate. Under the step-parent adoption agreement the surrogate relinquishes her rights to the child. This agreement is drawn up by your attorney. Note: The laws vary by state.
Gestational Surrogacy
The surrogate mother uses her uterus to carry a child. The child will not be genetically related to the surrogate mother. Using the In Vitro Fertilization process eggs are taken from the intended mother or egg donor and fertilized with the sperm of the intended father or sperm donor. Embryos are then transferred to the surrogate mother's uterus. If there are any left over embryos they can be cryopreserved (frozen and stored) and used in a future transfer.
Typically at the end of the second trimester or beginning of the third trimester the intended parents petition the court to have both their names put on the birth certificate when the baby is born. This agreement is drawn up by your attorney. Note: The laws vary by state.
Which one is right for you?
There are two options to choose from and the final choice depends on your circumstances and your doctor's recommendation. The following gives examples of when you might consider each type.
Consider Traditional Surrogacy if you have had:
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any disorder which affects the ovaries such as premature ovarian failure, genetic disorders, surgically absent ovaries, chemotherapy which destroyed the ovaries, severe endometriosis etc.
Consider Gestational Surrogacy if you have had:-
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a hysterectomy
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surgeries for fibroids
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damage from infection from IUD
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congenital abnormalities of the uterus etc.
PREPARING YOURSELF FOR SURROGACY
ReplyDeleteHaving your child through surrogacy, whether traditional or gestational, can be an extremely positive experience—especially if you take the time beforehand to prepare yourself emotionally.
If you have gone through infertility, chances are you will be entering this new way of creating your family with a certain amount of trepidation. You may wonder how a surrogate will be able to give you the baby she has carried inside for nine months. It may be hard for you get used to the idea that you cannot keep tabs on her to make sure she is taking good care of the baby and herself throughout her pregnancy.
This time presents an opportunity to talk things over with a counselor who has seen many couples successfully become parents through surrogacy. You can work through some of your concerns and prepare yourself for your new family member at the same time.
The issues of trust and control are central between you (the intended parents) and your surrogate. One of the most important things you can do now is to learn to see things through her eyes, and give her the chance to see things through yours. A little empathy goes a long way toward building a solid relationship.
Still, you may find yourself worrying about your surrogate’s travel, diet, finances, choice of doctor, medication, bedrest, and labor and delivery. Clearly, you can’t control all of these variables, but you can, with a counselor’s help, decide which are most important to you so that you can raise them calmly. Many of your concerns can be alleviated by getting accurate medical information about your surrogate throughout her pregnancy.
The last trimester is a good time to plan for what your role will be during your surrogate’s labor and delivery. Your counselor can help you and your surrogate create a plan. How active will you be? Who will hold the baby first? How can you show your appreciation to your surrogate for what she has done?
A “good goodbye” with your surrogate is also important, and this, too, can be discussed ahead of time. Will you get together with your surrogate and her family? You may want to take pictures so that you can remember the woman who gave birth to your child. Finally, many intended parents and their surrogates may want to exchange small gifts as a way of validating the special relationship they have shared.